Two weeks prior to my Ayahuasca experience, I changed my diet to all natural, no dairy, no red meat, no spices, minimal coffee, no alcohol (except on Thanksgiving, and a tad the night after) no marijuana, and no orgasms. Yes, that’s right.
8:00am Saturday – Morning of the experience, I did an Inca ritual of taking a bath in rose petals. The purpose is to attract cosmic spiritual energy. It connects you with the great spirits of nature and creates positive vibrations during the coming Ayahuasca experience.
I showered, then jumped in that rose petal bath. There was no use of a towel, only drip dry. The idea was to meditate in the bath, then go out on my upstairs balcony to drip dry in nature, leaving the energy of the roses directly on my skin.
Being outside to drip dry was cut short when my neighbor a couple blocks over was flying in to land his helicopter, saw me, then circled back to take a closer look at my nakedness. Pllllttthhh. Still, I dried off without a towel.
11:00am Saturday – We arrived at Parque Central Antigua. We bought Subway chicken sandwiches to have for lunch later. Our shuttle arrived and picked us up at 11:40.
3:20pm Saturday – We arrived in Panajachel, which is the main entry town to Lake Atitlan. From there, you can take a boat to any of the numerous other small towns around the giant lake. The lake covers the first Mayan city, and is rumored to have been inhabited before them. We had our Subway sandwiches, and would not eat again until morning the next day.
3:45pm Saturday – We took a 30 minute boat ride across the lake to the small town where we would participate.
We began our two or three mile hike up the mountain to the ceremony location. There were many trails that would have caused us to end up somewhere else. Thankfully, we had a video of someone walking the trail so we could see landmarks and could have a good guess of where to turn.
By the time we made it up the mountain, we had made a new friend from Germany. She pronounced her name as Feliz! Happy in English. Later I learned it was Felice. We were covered in sweat due to carrying our bags, and climbing the final set of stairs in the afternoon heat.
5:00pm Saturday – We arrived to the ceremony location and chatted with some other guests. The view was outstanding. We snapped a few pictures.
We were very high up in a forest a few miles from the massive Lake Atitlan in Guatemala. There are four volcanoes on the other side of the lake. One of them (far left) is active as I write this. It had a constant billow of smoke coming from its top.
The property was several acres in size and facilities were completely green/sustainable, with a restaurant, a few cabins, and other facilities for things like yoga. How such a gorgeous facility was built so high up in the mountains inaccessible by any roads is a mystery in and of itself.
How they brought the building materials, and massively heavy restaurant stoves, fridges, and other equipment up to that location is mind boggling. After inquiring, we became certain they didn’t use helicopters for such a feat, they used physical labor.
6:30pm Saturday – We then moved up to the ceremony location to begin setting up our spot. The area was sort of a large circular and rectangular area. On one end, all the way in, there was an alter. Behind it was a giant rock wall. It curved over the alter area. There was a small waterway just behind the alter, in front of the giant rock backdrop.
Facing in when you enter, on the right side was a man made wall built into the mountain. It would be the backdrop of where the shaman and his helpers would be located during the ceremony. They had a table with a statue and other mysterious objects where they would serve the medicines. Their point of view was looking towards the volcano surrounded lake.
For participants to use, there were 2’ x 4’ straw mats on the ground, with a small square pillow, a small bowl maybe three inches deep, a blanket on each mat, and a roll of toilet paper for every two mats. The dirt/ash ground was covered in small sharp rocks, so many of which it was not possible to clear them for smooth ground to lay directly on, hence the straw like mats to give cover.
I immediately grabbed us the two spots in front of the alter. The alter was a big rectangular rock, maybe two feet high, four feet wide, two feet deep, giving us a seat/backrest to lean back on. Not many had anything to lean back on except us. This would prove crucial during the ceremony.
Apparently, no one else had the nerve to sit in front of the alter. Because I chose this spot, we had no one next to us and a central view of the event, all the way in. We were the only two against the back wall of the rectangular location. There were approximately 15 participants beginning a few feet away to our left lined up in front of us, 20 or so to our right lined up to the side in front of us as well.
In the very middle of the ceremony was a fire pit with nothing surrounding it but some small rocks.
Many of us brought white glass candles to give us some low level light for the night. After setting up our sites, I lit my candle. Within five minutes a bee dove head first in to the hot candle wax and died instantly. The flame then enlarged its back side and it looked as if it would explode its venom. However, the flame roasted it before that happened.
Within another few minutes, another bee dove head first into Alma’s candle and the event repeated.
We brought three small bouquets of flowers. One purple and two white bouquets, as offerings for the Medicinal Spirit. A few minutes later, one bee landed in the center of our flowers, on the purple ones. It was alive and well. It remained there the entire night. In the morning we discovered 12 bees on our bouquets of flowers.
One lady used Alma’s candle to light hers, and I mentioned to her do you see the dead bee? She didn’t respond, but the guy closest to me on my left said he was stung yesterday. We took this as a sign, and have yet to uncover what it means. Perhaps death of the ego?
8:00pm Saturday – A very noticeable, loud, major, strong gust of wind blew over our ceremony spot. Right then the Columbian shaman began to speak in Spanish. He was translated to English by a helper. The shaman’s clothing was very unique.
He began the ceremony by offering each participant something called Amazonian Rapé. It is a natural snuff, in powder form that clears your respiratory system, allowing you to breath deeply with ease.
The shaman had a pipe with one end for his mouth, and two ends to aim the snuff into the participants nostrils. He had his own breathing pattern, and made an interesting sound when blowing the Rapé into the participants. It’s difficult to describe. He went from participant to participant.
9:05pm Saturday – FIRST DOSE OF RAPẼ – pronounced ha-PAY. I took the Amazonian Rapé. Minutes later my respiratory system filled with this substance and immediately began to clear up. The substance ran down my nose and throat. I hadn’t breathed right since after recently breaking my nose in Krav Maga practice. I was already breathing fine once again.
9:15 Saturday – The shaman began serving the first doses of Ayahuasca. He asked everyone to line up in front of him to begin. Only ten of the 35-40 participants did so. He would say a mantra or chant and move the small cup of Ayahuasca around the person’s head before handing it to them to consume. When they’d finish the first cup, he would poor them their second, and give another chant or mantra. His words translated included something like clear all blocks. There was much more to it, I just don’t recall, and it was solely in Spanish.
9:35pm Saturday – FIRST DOSE OF AYAHUASCA – Once the first ten were done, Alma prodded me to wait for us to go last. I was way too excited to wait any longer, plus there were still at least 25 more people we’d have to wait for. I went right up to the shaman myself, with no one else in line.
I looked him dead in the eye with gratitude already pouring out of me. He did his mantra, and handed me the first cup. I tilted my head back and poured that concoction down my throat and gulped it down. He then filled up the cup again, and we repeated.
Ayahuasca tasted like a thick espresso with a green sweet flavor. It tasted good to me. I then walked back to my spot for the night and watched as others began to go up to the front and take their doses. A long line formed.
I looked to my left, and saw a giant plant with shiny, polished, two foot green leaves waving at me as if to say, “Hey there, what’s happening?” I reached out to touch a leaf. I could barely reach the tip of it. All the leaves started to move rhythmically waving and chatting to me. They were so friendly.
Below the friendly giant plant, where my backpack WAS, I noticed my new stuffed dinosaur friend with bling around his throat. The bling used to be my watch, which I removed and clipped onto the front of my backpack so I would be able to see the time for this summary, and not be wearing any jewelry or metal. However, there is no such thing as time while taking this medicine. My back pack, now a small dinosaur, seemed to just be happily staring at me. I patted my new mini dinosaur buddy on the top of his soft stuffed animal like head, and said “Hey what’s up?”
I then looked up to the sky and saw the stars. At first, I could see them all so clearly. There were thick leaf covered tree branches up above to the left. Soon after the sky and the tree branches were covered with a haze of smoke that turned into large rectangular pixels. Yes, I was seeing in pixels. Large pixels about four inches by two inches. They were all black, grey and white. No more color. I was seeing the universe as it is, a computer hologram that becomes whatever the observer believes they are observing.
The pixels then began to move around in waves and to change places. I closed my eyes and saw a blue neon pattern of squares in a beautiful pattern. Outside of the blue pattern the neon squares were white. They would move and change patterns as well. Very hard to explain.
10:30pm Saturday – The shaman’s assistant had gotten the fire in the center of the ceremony started and it was growing. One participant directly to the right of the fire pit, stumbled like he was drunk and moved out of his spot. He turned around, and looked like he was going to sit on the fire. His rear was right at the edge. Intrigued, I watched as he struggled to get on all fours in the dirt covered with sharp rocks, as mentioned before, which must have shred his knees, to begin his “purge” of throwing up.
After one barf, he moved to a different angle and now it looked like the smoke of the fire was coming right out of his back side. I thought what on earth am I witnessing? It would billow way up into the pixelated sky, as if he was letting loose some of the worst gas any man ever had. Bizarre. What that translated to is witnessing that guy releasing his blocks and illnesses or myself about to do the same. LOL
He barfed again. I felt sorry for him because he was the only one throwing up. I felt fine. I didn’t feel the “purge” whatsoever at this moment. Nor did I think I would. (Prepare for foot in mouth) Soon after, another participant would begin their purge, then another, and another, and so on.
The sounds of participants puking faded away and I could hear the low level sound of nightclub dance music in the background moving through the forest. It seemed to play a song, then dead silence for a minute or two, then another song would begin playing. Sprinkled in, I would hear fireworks.
The shaman and his crew then began playing their amazing music. They had a small guitar, a tambourine, and maracas, combined with fantastic shamanic voices. Their lyrics and words were pure joy, although I didn’t understand a single one of them. Their music was loud and took over everything. It was the most beautiful, rhythmic, Columbian music I’ve ever heard, and it was live. Words can’t describe or do it any justice.
11:00pm Saturday – By this time, Alma was in her own world next to me. She was in a far away place. I attempted to make eye contact, and was quickly distracted as I began to feel my stomach churn. At first it was just light cramping. Then the cramps grew.
Then the cramps would disappear. Next, I felt a sharp pain in my lower back, soon after the pain would move to the front, then different parts of my upper body. Next, it overtook my stomach. Within ten minutes my entire lower and upper body front and back was in excruciating pain, and the cramps were overwhelming. The excruciating pain only got worse and worse. It was torture. I began to lie down.
A good analogy would be to say it was like using a metal scouring pad, with cleanser and barely any water to scrape and scrub all of the inner tubing of my body.
Alma looked over and suggested I sit up leaning back against the alter. I began to feel like I had run a 100 mile race, and became exhausted, absolutely beyond tired, drained more than any time in my entire life, and now I have to fight a demon inside or something. I had no more strength or energy to accomplish such a feat. My body wanted to die. I could not keep my eyes open. I struggled and struggled. She suggested, keep your eyes open, do not lie down, do not go to sleep. She said, you will be so proud of yourself tomorrow if you do this. OK, I thought.
About 25 of the participants had already passed out and lost their battle.
If I were to lie down and go to sleep, I would not be cleansed of the negative spirit, energy, subconscious programs installed from age 0-7, and from my ancestors and bloodlines. My current suffering would continue, whatever suffering that may be. I would not be physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually cleansed. I would not be renewed. I would not clear the blocks that hold me back from my dream manifestations. I would not have ego death and self control.
The negative energy in me would simply win and continue on. If I were to even lie down, the Ayahuasca would not have digested as well and I would have woken up in the morning to throw it up with minimal benefit. I must fight to win this. The negative energy within me, maybe ego, had to be defeated through this battle I was now in, this battle I did not know I would be in, or did I? This negative energy/spirit/programming within me was EXTREMELY OVERWHELMINGLY POWERFUL.
It seemed farrrrrrrrr more powerful than my conscious mind could ever overcome. It was like fighting a 10,000 man Roman Army singlehandedly. I imagined having a sword and would swing and knock out ten at a time, then would kick and knock out many more, endlessly.
Internally, I was begging for this to end. I was asking myself why would anyone do this on purpose to themselves? I was asking myself, why did I do this to myself? I was desperately asking for this to be over. Repeatedly, saying to myself, please make this end, please make this end, pleasssse. I was passing out. It felt like my eyelids were being pulled down by vice grips.
I could not remain awake. I had to lie down and go to sleep. I kept slipping into the lying down position. I would then get upright and toss and turn. I could not sit still and stay awake. Passing out would have been sooooo easy at this point. Ahh, no more pain, just lie down, go to sleep, sleep it off.
But I fought, and fought, and fought, and fought for what seemed like hours!!!! I forced my eyes to stay open. I forced myself to stay upright. I suffered through the pain of this Spirit Doctor called Ayahuasca ripping out everything negative within me from toxic food, words, pictures, thoughts, beliefs, to spells and energy ever put into my body, mind and spirit, which attached itself to the inside wall of every one of my cells. She, Ayahuasca, had just ripped it all loose and was now ready for me to release it.
11:45pm Saturday – Being there was no one to my left, I adjusted my position to my left side to get ready to hurl. At first, it was a shallow dry heave, then another a bit more deep, and another until finally I got it going and hurled with power, a small amount about a half a cup worth with no mess, inside the small blue bowl.
I turned on my red flashlight, we were told to bring, instead of white light, and I pointed it into my bowl to examine what in the hell just came out of me. Ayahuasca gives you visions to be interpreted. It looked like a flattened big spider. It was a saliva clear color. It had six legs an inch and half long. The legs were 1/8 inch wide. It had the evilest looking black eyes and facial features. There was what seemed to be a very long, narrow tube. It was wound up twisted and turned, small in diameter. Perhaps it looked like a worm that if stretched out would measure a meter long. It too was saliva color.
After this I set the bowl down, interpreting it as an evil spirit, an energy parasite, maybe my ego, in the form of a spider with its long tube like web that had just been released from me. It was fighting to stay inside of me. I moved my body to lean back on the alter sitting with my legs stretched out just taking it all in. I no longer felt like I had a body or was separate. My movement was a bit jarring when I sat back down. That caused something to want to exit my bottom side.
I then proceeded to the bathroom to finish this first purge and see what happens there. There was no one there, no line, just me. The bathroom had no front wall. You basically sit on the throne and look into the wilderness. That did help alleviate the would be putrid smells of that place. Thankfully, that went quickly as I did not have much to release. As I exited, there were at least fifteen females now in line outside, all of whom had that slight look of embarrassment.
Much of my research indicated that smoking tobacco was a normal, welcome thing while doing Ayahuasca. I brought two Cuban, Montecristo Open Eagle cigars and a pack of Rubio Rojo cigarettes, in which I planned to tear off the filters and smoke for this ceremony.
11:55pm Saturday – SECOND DOSE OF AYAHUASCA – In the opening ceremony, we were told to not leave the site or the restroom area, unless we asked. I asked the shaman in Spanish, “es OK yo voy a fumar un cigarette?” Is it OK if I go smoke a cigarette? He immediately replied, “NO. Would you like another Ayahuasca?” Without hesitation I said Yes. He poured the first cup, and began his shamanic mantra ritual in front of me with a loud voice.
As soon as I finished, a line of participants formed again for their second dose of this medicine. I returned to my seat and checked on Alma. She had still not purged. We chatted about what we were experiencing.
She was seeing hundreds of eyeballs staring at her from the rock wall behind us. I didn’t see any of these eyeballs
This time, I saw the stars shooting across the sky, in pixels. My mini dinosaur friend had grown a big afro and was no longer recognizable. lol My giant plant friend behind me began to wave again. After that I closed my eyes and laid back. I can’t recall all of the visions passing through my altered state of consciousness. I was just relieved to have passed through the first portion of the purge.
The shaman’s assistants began playing their wonderful music. Many participants began to dance around the fire. This would go on for the rest of the night and morning. I attempted to watch the dancing. Most of the women there were stunning and dressed in thin white, see through materials. Their soft clothing would fly through the air as if being weightless.
One was singing and dancing in the air like an eagle flying up and down around the fire pit, in, out and around the other participants. No one seemed human or recognizable at this point. They all appeared to be angels clapping, cheering, and celebrating. It seemed like we were partying in the clouds.
1:00am Sunday – Next thing you know, my stomach began to turn. I felt and heard the growls, and thought, oh no, not again. The cramps began, this time not as severe. Just enough to cause me to hurl four or five times in small amounts. I now had a bad stomach ache that persisted.
Using my red flashlight, I examined the newly released vomit. It looked like the same clear worm like, spider web from the first go round, but with no spider. I interpret it as the remnants of the evil web being removed from me at all levels.
I laid there for another hour enjoying the whole hallucinogenic environment with the wonderful shamanic music. It was like heaven. This took my mind off of the stomach ache. I felt just love and joy.
Barefoot, walking across the sharp rocks, Alma and I attempted to join the dancing on what I perceived were clouds in the heavens. We could hardly stand up yet alone move our bodies and feet. We stood on the rocks that felt like clouds and swayed and twisted as best we could.
Alma asked me, “how do you feel?” I replied, “that was brutal, oh my God.” She said, “welcome to the club.”
Soon we returned to our spots and laid down to curl up for a couple hours.
3:30am Sunday – THIRD DOSE OF AYAHUASCA – I arose and still had the stomach ache. I walked over to the shaman and asked him again in Spanish, figuring we now had an inside joke when I ask “es OK yo voy a fumar un cigarette?” he would ask if I wanted another Ayahuasca. Instead he responded with, “Yes, you can go smoke.” LOL.
I replied in Spanish, “Estoy bromiando, quiero ultra ves Ayahuasca, un poco” which means I’m joking, I want another small Ayahuasca. A large amount of participants laughed as they knew the joke. He sized me up to see what I really needed. I pointed out my stomach pain. He poured me a small cup and said a different mantra, with even more power than previously about releasing the block or something like that.
After taking that dose, I waited patiently then went for a walk in the forest. I forgot to ask first. I soon discovered I was unable to walk at all as my body was shaky, and completely out of energy. So, I hobbled around the woods in the dark, with red flashlight in hand. I found a place to sit, and just sat there hallucinating, staring at the brush. I noticed every detail of everything I looked at. I had such perfect clarity of my surroundings. It was dead silent. I was one with the endless forest, every bush, every tree, every leaf, every tiny thing. I felt such peace.
Finally, I felt the purge coming on yet again, and thought my energy would be restored after that. I didn’t have any new pain or cramps, just the lingering ones. I headed for the restroom and did what needed to be done. I returned to our spot, only to realize my stomach felt slightly better. I was connected with everything, especially the spirit doctor called Ayahuasca who was with me to finish her work.
I laid down and Alma wrapped me up in a blanket for me to sleep for about an hour. During sleep, I was gone to another world, another reality where I slew, killed and removed an evil parasite from my body and mind represented as the spider in the first purge. I still don’t know whom put it there or how it got there. I just know it was now gone. Next time I do this, I will ask these questions. It felt like I just got out of an operation. I was there recovering.
5:30am Sunday – The shaman began the wrap up. They sung and played music for another two hours. Many danced and clapped. It was a celebration. Several had been cleansed. We said our good-byes. All the time, I still felt physically awful, but mentally and emotionally happy. I was brought some soup and fruits. They helped a little bit with my loss of energy.
7:30am Sunday – We finally headed to the restaurant at the facility, hoping that if I had coffee my energy would be restored. I did and my stomach began to improve. We then headed down the mountain, and the sunlight and exercise helped improve my energy. After hanging out and eating an omelet at a restaurant my energy improved even more. We rescheduled our shuttle to return home later in the day.
12:00pm Sunday – We jumped on a boat back to Panajachel. Once we arrived, we sat at yet another restaurant for several more hours just drinking juices, watching the activity on the lake. It was so peaceful.
4:00pm Sunday – We finally got on our shuttle and were ready for the three and a half hour trip back to Antigua. I slept two hours on that ride in complete peace. From Antigua we took a cab from the shuttle company and got home around 8:00pm. My energy was returning.
9:00pm Sunday – I laid down and fell right asleep.
1:40am Monday – I woke up and began writing this timeline of events.
The benefits of this will continue to increase and the meanings of the visions I had will become more clear. What I gained or strengthened from this, right off the bat, is that I have a great connection with nature and am one with everything. I feel full of energy, renewed, very healthy, very at ease, deeply cleansed. I know what I want, I know where I’m going, and why. I feel as if my body and health are as they were when I was 18 years old. I’m very relaxed. I can’t imagine that anything could ever make me angry. I have no addictions.
Most of all, I saw proof that this reality is in fact a hologram co-created by all of us, and my own reality is created solely by my observation and belief of what I am observing.
I look forward to deciphering the forgotten visions I had and using them for my own well being. I will most definitely do Ayahuasca again.